Med Center Visit Today

Off to the med center today. Nothing major going on; just a regular checkup and bloodwork which I'd already postponed three times. Plus, I'll meet B's nurse at lunch time, run over to the children's hospital to pray with a friend whose child possibly has cancer, and then have dinner with one of my closest friends.

Update: Am I getting addicted to blogging? (Probably not.) But when things change, I'm guess I'm obsessive about getting them correct. I didn't get to meet up with my friend at the children's hospital, since their appointment was already over by the time I got done with my lab work. I'll just have to catch him back home.

Saw CPCWarrior yesterday at church. She wanted to know when I'd start going out after church with her and her husband again. I'm sure the nature of some of my friendships will change now that B is no longer here, but I'm glad that that will be a constant. I'll have to see if I can get that copy of "Murder Ahoy" ordered so I can watch it with them.

"Ye have heard of the patience of Job..." James 5:11

I've been reading the Psalms a lot recently, but somehow this morning, I ended up in the book of Job. When I went through my lymphoma treatments seven years ago, I read through Job; it was the first time that I really started understanding the book, or at least the first time it spoke to me. (My cancer verse was Job 23:10: "But He knoweth the way that I take: when He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.")

Anyway, the verse that stood out to me was Job 13:15: "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him..." I think I can honestly say that. I almost wish that God would take me away from all this, because I feel so dead and empty inside. I have my children to live for, but I really can't think of much else that would keep me here.

Sorry, but I just can't write any more right now.

A Grief Observed

Let me introduce myself. I'm going to call myself Timotheus. Although that's not my actual name, I've been called it a time or two. I hope it's appropriate, as it means "One who honors God," and that's what I hope my life does.

I'm starting to blog here as a form of therapy, I guess. I lost my wife last week after a 2 year battle with colon cancer. I suppose you could say we are fortunate, if anyone can be fortunate in such a situation. When someone is diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer, the life expectancy is usually only a few months, even with aggressive treatment. My wife and I had two years together after she was diagnosed.

This is about all I can comment right now. I have so much to say, but so little strength to actually say it.

I think I'll close with the lyrics to a song by Fernando Ortega, from which I took the title of this blog:

When the morning falls on the farthest hill,
I will sing His name, I will praise Him still.
When dark trials come and my heart is filled
With the weight of doubt, I will praise Him still.

For the Lord our God, He is strong to save
From the arms of death, from the deepest grave.
And He gave us life in His perfect will,
And by His good grace, I will praise Him still.