Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

When God Created Texas

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" Inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth but cold and harsh while southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant.

"I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts. This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land mass and said "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's TEXAS -- the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful beaches, streams, hills, and forests.

The people from TEXAS are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world.

They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the characters I put in AUSTIN."

Thursday, November 16, 2006

"No major decisions"

"Don't make any major decisions for x years, months..." I don't know how many times I've heard that in the past week. I'm enough of a contrarian that I just may go out and make a major decision just to prove that I can.

Let's get this straight. I'm not going to quit my job, move, remarry, get a 20-year-old girlfriend, or buy a motorcycle any time soon. (At least, that's what I think they mean by "major decisions.") I may sell some of my investment property like I'd been thinking about for the past year or so. I might buy a pickup (also something I've been considering) or a sports car (which I hadn't seriously thought about.) But even though I'm hurting emotionally, I don't think I've lost my ability to think clearly, folks.

My apologies to those who come here looking for great spiritual insight. You're not getting it from this evening's post, I'm afraid.

Baptism

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